Relationships with other people can be some of the very best parts of life, but they can also be some of the worst. A difficult co-worker or boss can turn a really great job into an incredible pain. One obnoxious relative can turn an otherwise enjoyable family get-together into something people generally want to avoid. Sometimes even the best of marriages hit their rough spots and the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with is now someone you don’t want to spend ten minutes with.

So what do we do in these situations? Do we just tolerate, avoid, or discard and move on?

Sometimes, yes.

Jesus, however offers us another alternative – one that holds out the hope that no matter how difficult a particular relationship might be at the time, that things can get better.

In Matthew 5:43-44 Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor [think – “like minded friends] and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

Since “enemy” is such a strong word many people are tempted to skip over this teaching, believing that they don’t have any real “enemies,” so it really doesn’t apply to them. After all, “enemies” are people who are trying to kill you, right?

Maybe, but if it works and applies to killing-each-other levels of conflict, it probably applies to the smaller stuff too – like when that person at work is trying to get you fired, or when your neighbor keeps letting their dog do that thing in your yard, or when that irritating relative won’t stop telling you offensive jokes with their mouth full causing little bits of their dinner to fly out at you, or when your spouse seems more like a cold and distant stranger than a loving companion.

In all of these situations, Jesus is telling us not just to love our like-minded friends but to love these people as well. Pray for these people. Pray for their good. Imagine good things for them in vivid detail. Ask God to help you see the best in them. Ask God to help you love them in spite of all their flaws. Ask God to help you see them the way God does. Keep on praying for them until it changes the way you feel about the person and you really love them and want good things for them. Pray for them until the things you’ve prayed for have really come true in you.

In loving your enemies and praying for those who persecute you, you are giving these difficult relationships their best chance to become better, to become life-giving, to become great. This isn’t a guaranteed path to a happy ending though. There is no guarantee that the other person will have changed one bit.

The only thing that is certain at the end of all this, is that if you follow this teaching of Jesus, you will have changed. You will have become more like the God that loves His enemies and longs for their good.